… I’d be dating a mannequin.

I am such a contradiction of hankerings I don’t even know what to do with myself sometimes. I don’t know how this happened, but I think I know what the problem is.

When I was a kid my first bicycle was a BMX. I had short hair because I was in love with Corey Hart. And, considering marrying him was obviously out of the question, I may as well have looked like him. Pull up your socks. I had girl friends, we had sleepovers. We painted our nails pink, we played with Cabbage Patch Kids, and I had an obscene amount of stuffed things. But then, I also had boys skates, boy friends, transformer toys, and a remote control Corvette. My favourite movies were: ET, Ghostbusters, Karate Kid, The Godfather, The NeverEnding Story, Spaceballs, The Princess Bride, Airplane!, Top Gun, Gremlins, and Goonies. Goonies never say die. As I got older (while still being younger) I grew my hair long, then got me some real boy friends. We played house … a lot. I wore cordurory skirts, and barrettes, and braids, but I was constantly climbing trees, and rocks, and digging in swamps for tadpoles to adopt. I let caterpillars crawl on me, and saved spiders from drains. I came home with gashes from branches, sap in my hair, and went dirtbiking along bubbling brooks. I played M.A.S.H (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House) and Tree, Bush, or Naked Lady. I loved double dutch; singing High, Low, Medium, Slow; Bluebells; and Little Bumper Car. I took it around the corrrr-ner. I wore Hypercolour T-Shirts, Jelly Shoes, and gimp bracelets up my arms. I came home filthy but was never asked why as long as I wasn’t crying and nobody’s parents called. I fell in love with Dirty Dancing, Splash, When Harry Met Sally, The Breakfast Club, and Can’t Buy Me Love. So I think, somewhere along the line I became thoroughly romanced by being a girl, having girl friends to giggle with and link arms with on a big swing set, and gush over Corey Haim – but at the same time, I was toughened by boys, I liked their toys, I liked hanging out with them. Sometimes wrestling while other times exploring each other (sorry mom and dad). I loved being a girly girl and I loved my tomboy constitution.

So now … I find men get confused by the fact that I’m most likely going to know how to hang a door, ballpark how big the engine of their car is, and want to watch Easy Rider; while at the same time wanting my bangs to be brushed off my forehead, silent conversations on the sofa, and glances from across a crowded room. I get excited over buying pink high heels, and body lotion that smells yummy; but I love my Skechers runners just as much. There is no doubt that there is a conflict as I’ve come to realize. You either want to arm wrestle me, or make out with me, sometimes both, but not necessarily in that order, and hopefully not at the same time. I’m not afraid of the dark, but I love to feel protected. I come across as hardy, but inside I’m very sensitive. I am down to earth and chill, but sometimes my heart really aches. I don’t mind Super Hero Indian Leg Wrestling, but I love spooning so much more.

Email accent and all.

Walnut Cookies

2 1/4 cup of ground walnuts
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/2 cup of white sugar
2 egg yolks
2 tbsp of spiced rum

- Mix everything in a mixing bowl with your hands until you form a ball.
- I wrapped the ball in a wax paper and put it in a fridge over night.
- The dough kind of hardens and is easier to work with the next day. Otherwise it gets too sticky.
- Set the owen at 320*F.
- Make small wheel, aprox 1.5 inch in diameters and 1/3 of inch in thickness.
- Put the wheels on a cooking sheet. I put parchment paper on the cooking sheet first and then put cookies on the parchment paper. They won’t stick to the cooking sheet after you take them out of the owen.
- I keep the cookies in the owen for aprox 17-18 min. Check them at 16 min to make sure they don’t get too hard.
- Good luck!

Love, your Dad

I especially like the three bottles of rum:

i woke up this morning to the feeling of Otis’ cold paws tapping my collar bone
he was hungry
he’s not supposed to be in my room, but he cried outside my door last night
bad cat.
wait
he just missed me.

i got up before the sun and stood outside in the tonic, cool air
everything was still
then some crows flew by.

i sat on the skytrain and didn’t move a muscle.
quiet by a window
and took in the movement of the world below me
in fast forward.
a dog caught a frisby in the park.

a wilting flower sits on my desk at work.
the petals are still intact, but each new morning
i see
they are getting tired of hanging on.
when the first petal falls, i will put it to rest.
in the garbage pail.

outside the window, twenty-four floors up
i see mountains cloaked in clouds
and poised cargo ships float
heavily
on a hushed ocean.

Loser alert: 

2008 marks ten exciting years since Nintendo released The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time on the N64 console.

I wish I could say that ten years ago I was a silly 15-year old, addicted to video games, but the sad truth is that I was 21! Hang on .. this isn’t sad.

My brother owned the N64, he was 17. It was such a phenom when it entered our household. We had been rolling through each console as they were released since the orig. 8-bit NES (Duck Hunt!), then the 16-bit SNES (Super Mario World!) and the 64-bit N64 seemed like such an advancement, especially graphically. In fact, the N64 beat out the Sony PlayStation in terms of graphic representation at that time. Myself, my boyfriend, my brother and his friends would cram ourselves into the small TV room of our basement and have GoldenEye 007, MarioKart, or Star Fox 64 tournaments. There I was, 21 years old, hanging out with my little brother and his friends .. a secret life none of my own friends knew about. My GFs would not be able to relate.

The first rule of fight club …

Then one fateful day my brother came home with the newly released The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Little did I know that this small, boxy, plastic gem would change the course of my life over the next month. It started out innocently enough, we’d check it out after dinner, compare strategies. I’d visit it when I came home from work. Then, slowly but surely our Zelda sessions got later and later. Eventually I had a binder full of secrets and hints I had printed from the Internet. They were neatly labeled according to level, weapons required, and level of difficulty.

I didn’t know what came over me. I had become a recluse from my own life. By day I was a functioning woman. Working, hanging out with my girlfriends, my boyfriend .. but at night it wasn’t uncommon for me to play that damn game until 3 o’clock in the morning. I actually set up camp in the basement and slept down there at night sometimes. I was so challenged by that game. I remember dreaming Zelda, dreaming of the next attack strategy. I dreamt of living in the Great Deku Tree. One morning I woke up with the most horrific migraine behind my eyeballs I thought I was going blind. This game was a true labour of love.

Hello, my name is Andrea and I am addicted to The Legend of Zelda …

I remember the moment all my hard work and dedication paid off. It was the final showdown with Gannondorf in the final level; I had really studied the notes, knew all his weak spots, and put notes to action. I showed him who’s boss, let’s just put it that way and I actually defeated him after my 4th restart I think it was. I was so happy that I did the level all over again to prove it to myself.

I am happy to say that my fall from grace was short and sweet and anything but detrimental (except for the eyeball migraine maybe – I could have done without that). The concern I have is that not too long ago purchased an N64 off of Craigslist. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time was one of the games included. It watches me from my TV unit every night … waiting. I’m almost 31 now, maybe it’s time for a reunion.

I wanted to add a lighthearted post after the last one – which took a lot out of me!

Since I moved here alone and am so far away from my friends and family, I have taken great pride in decorating my freezer door with memorabilia, photos, and silly things. What is nostalgia for me, may be neurotic for you, which is fine by me. Splendid.

Here goes:

Today marks the start of the parliamentary debate on whether or not to extend Canada’s mission in Afghanistan to 2011.

These are important times!

Arbitration must be in haste due to the fact that there is a concern that the delay will expose a soft-underbelly of the Canadian military to the Taliban. In addition to this, the Canadian military currently stationed in Afghanistan are unclear as to whether or not they’ll be facing another three years in combat.

The Contenders:

Conservatives: Currently weighing-in at 126 MPs deep – proposed the motion to extend the mission to 2011.
The plan: Tackle the Taliban insurgency + Train Afghan military + Provide humanitarian relief.
The fine print: The Manley report clinches an appeal that NATO and/or the United States hand over an additional 1,000 troops to be deployed to the US Theatre Internment Facility in Kandahar to help fight the resurgent Taliban regime – an area infected with brutal hostility.
The assistance: Manley report also appoints Ottawa to organize the purchasing or renting of combat helicopters and unmanned drones to track insurgents.
The extension x 2: In May 2006, Prime Minster Stephen Harper initiated a bid to extend the mission by two years past the original deadline, or until February 2009 and succeeded. In Summer 2007, Harper began brewing up the idea to extend the mission past 2009.
The pressure: 2007 marked the year for increased political awareness due to the fact that Canada was experiencing casualties greater than of any of its allies. Since then, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been under the gun to pull Canadian troops and even more so after the recent deaths of 78 soldiers and a diplomat.
The vote: The Conservative government has requested a Vote of Confidence which could possibly trigger an election if the major political parties (Conservatives and Liberals) didn’t agree on the motion.

Liberals: Currently weighing-in at 94 MPs deep – have been fighting for a confirmed mission end date from Stephen Harper and have since seen his motion and raised him more of a concentration on peace-keeping, training, humanitarian aid and an end to combat as of February 2009.
The catch: So long as the Conservatives truthfully and adequately answer all questions posed to them by the Liberals, Stéphane Dion is fully prepared to at the very least back the motion.
The no-guarantee: Even with these conditions met, Dion is avoiding the promise of offering the required amount of Opposition votes to avoid an election.
The concerns: Unsettled with the stipulations surrounding the proper handling of Afghan prisoners over to Afghan authorities, Dion called for a suspension on their transfer and is planning the proposal of modifications in today and tomorrow’s debate.

Bloc Québécois: Currently weighing-in at 49 MPs deep – does not support the extension of the mission past February 2009. Leader Gilles Duceppe reluctantly accepted Harper’s first extension date and resigned to leave the outcome in the hands of Parliament. As far as the 2nd extension goes, B.Q. will not budge on another post-script of the mission withdrawal date.

New Democratic Party: Currently weighing-in at 30 MPs deep – they were the first to pull out of the union to support the extension of the mission. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, they were torn between supporting the troops and criticizing the overall point of the mission. Their stance as of the present is to have Canadian troops pulled out now and for NATO to take over, filling in the gap. They have maintained this position since spring of 2007.
The concern: NDP leader, Jack Layton felt mislead by what he felt was the original purpose of the mission – to maintain Canada’s traditional role as a peace-keeper.
The alternative: The appeal of the Afghan government to initiate peace-talks with the Taliban.

Now you’re on board with the basics.

What do I think? Well … no one is expendable and the longer it takes for this to be organized and concluded, the more vulnerable Canada and Afghanistan become. Also, in as escapist as I would rather be toward this, this is Canadian History in the making. I will teach myself as much as I need to know to feel cultured and knowledgeable (that never ends, btw) in order to be able to reflect back to these times of tumultuousness and be sound enough to tell the story as it happened.

“Then the sands will roll
Out a carpet of gold
For your weary toes to be a-touchin’.
And the ship’s wise men
Will remind you once again
That the whole wide world is watchin’.”
When the Ship Comes In | Bob Dylan

Uno:

I have the spring cleaning bug and started with my purse this morning. I realized after the evacuation of its contents onto my coffee table that I have a very disorganized and nonsensical method of note keeping. I will admit that I do suffer from DITS (Deep In Thought Syndrome) throughout the day and sometimes something terribly important will come up, or be mentioned to me, and it must be taken note of. The issue lies in the fact that it is very rare that I ever have anything to note take on, so I usually rummage through my purse and person and write what I need to on whatever will accept my pen ink. This can include anything from coffee lids and hockey cards, to gum and band-aid wrappers.

See?

Due:

Mandy! Mandy appointed herself my official ski pimp and actually found me my dream skis on eBay. I could not be more elated or excited. They are the same skis as she has – Volkl Attiva AC3 (2007) and I must admit after testing hers down the slopes of Whistler I was borderline close to having an affair with them. I’d been searching high and low for the same pair but because they’re last year’s model it’s been tough. But Mandy pulled through and I’m extremely excited for our first rendez-vous.

Details:
“Introducing the Attiva AC3, a completely new all-conditions ski for expert women skiers, with a new 118-76-104 sidecut for the perfect blend of all-conditions performance. It features the new Attiva Motion iPT, Extended Double Grip construction, plus a new 20/20 wood core.”

Looky:

From this Saturday on, until I run out of chutzpah and guts, I will make every Saturday a Spontaneous Saturday.These days are normally a day where I start out taking my time in the morning, I read my Walrus Mag., maybe a book, and watch curling on the only channel I get on my TV. Usually after that I’ll take the SkyTrain downtown and find a coffee shop to sit inside as I watch the world go by.

Today though, I redirected my Saturday schedule with the decision to get myself into some skis that I will not have to argue with every time I hit the hills. I should mention that last night whilst at the grocery store I realized to my shock and horror that my wallet was M.I.A. I figured out seventeen seconds later that it was most likely still sitting on my desk at work and took comfort in that uncertain fact. So this morning, I scurried down to my work, convinced security to let me up even though I had not a single piece of i.d on me, found my precious wallet and the choir began to sing.

I head back down the elevator and decided to look for Comor Sports on Georgia St. but soon understood after calling Mandy that Comor was no longer downtown and was now at 4th and Burrard. I could have very well publicly transported myself there but it was such a beautiful afternoon that I decided to walk there instead and made the lovely trek toward Kitsilano. Down Burrard St. I walked, over the Burrard Bridge I went…

Check it:

… and arrived at Comor Sports about 40 mins later. I had an educational talk with the sales person and walked out of there empty-handed because I’m a picky skier and probably so picky that I’ll be stuck with these devil skis forever.

Anyway, I decided by this point that I’d treat myself to a bus and SkyTrain ride to the homestead and as I strolled up Burrard St., my opulence radar went off as I slowly approached a provocative BMW dealership that spread across both sides of the street.

There, under a little tree was a white, 2007 M3 convertible staring me right in the face. I walked over and introduced myself, bouncing my fingertips lightly along the hood, then over the mirror, along the doors and up over the trunk. I came to the [spontaneous!] conclusion right then and there that I was going to test drive an M3 today for the very first time. I took a little stroll over to the Pre-Owned building and hoped for the best. I found two BMWs there – an ’03 and an ’04. I looked inside the ’04 first because it was the colour of the unmistakable BMW blue. The transmission was SMG (Sequential Manual Gearbox from my previous M3 lesson) and although the idea of not having to press a clutch might have been more convenient, there was no way in hell I was going to not experience every nook and cranny of this car. So I decided on the charcoal ’03, as it had a regular manual transmission.

I was greeted by Tony shortly after that who I almost embarrassingly explained my hopes and dreams to and before I knew it he said “Wait right here Andrea, I’ll go get plates and the keys.”

Can you imagine??

“I’m just going to pull it out of the lot and we’ll switch, OK?”

Then, the moment I’d been waiting for finally came true. My heart was racing like I’ve never felt it race before. Almost more than if you were to put me in a Lamborghini Murciélago LP640 – actually wait …

I told Tony that I hoped I didn’t have a heart attack and he told me I’d be fine.

I sat down into the leather seats, adjusted everything to accommodate my littleness and off we went. It was beautiful. The torque on that car was so tight it was hard making a smooth transition from second to third at first because you could tell it wanted to rev quite high before shifting but in the city this is kind of hard. But I figured it out eventually as I became more acquainted with what I was dealing with. I became an M3 whisperer and understood everything this car needed to be driven the way it is meant to be driven.

Tony remarked how my driving was so safe and smooth he could take a nap! Oh stop.

We had a nice talk about living in Ontario, what I thought of the economy and cost of living here, and what kinds of things I’ve encountered so far. We were like old buds. haha. He mentioned at one point if I’d ever consider being a BMW sales person! I guess I kept him on his toes going over all the specs of the M3′s spiciness.

Our tour came to an end and as we searched for a place to park my new friend Tony asked me if I was OK reversing into this kind of squishy spot. I asked him if he knew who he was dealing with. So in I went.

I had my camera on me like I always do when I wander around and asked Tony if he could take a photo of me. I wanted him to make sure the headlights, and fender vents were included and he did a pretty good job. It’s the geekiest photo I have of myself … but frankly my dears, I don’t give a damn.

What an awesome day! I hope all my Spontaneous Saturdays are this exciting.

Check out that reverse job.

I want you to meet a very important woman. This is an erroneous introduction because it doesn’t make sense on any level, but if you could just pretend that you are really meeting Diane Cannuli in real life, this would become that much more meaningful.

Diane Cannuli is my aunt and godmother – and my mother’s sister.

You should be aware of her because she is a well-known artist in Montréal, and especially the Mile End district. She sees beauty in old buildings, people walking down the street, dogs in the park, shudders on a window. My auntie Diane captures everything about life that we take for granted every day. This is why it would be good to have her around. She paints snapshots of things that your eyes will capture in a split second and not even register.

As a student at Concordia University she had dreams of becoming a botanist and obtained her B.Sc. in Botany in 1979. She painted the most beautiful, microscopic enlargements of mold spores (yes, I did just say beautiful, microscopic enlargements of mold spores) I’ve ever seen. In fact, they are still displayed proudly on the walls of my grandparents’ basement.

She has the kind of eccentric humour and personality that anyone would want to be around, and has made friends with every shop owner of the entire Mile End district. Including the butcher marts, fish stores, and bagel shops. She is warm, caring, spiritual, in-touch, and just so incredibly creative. She’s a wonderful person who certainly doesn’t get enough credit – yet. But she’s getting there, and she’ll be simply amazing.

This is a quickie …

I am giddy with excitement. We are four days away from CBC’s Canada Reads. A literary food [for thought] fight between five Canadian celeb panelists hedging strong and true for their favourite fiction works of their personal choosing. It’s the Survivor of the book world. Partnering up with CBC’s Words At Large, we’ll see a book be voted off the list each day. On the final day, one book will remain and will go on to become the book Canada will read this year.

The book battle royal will be hosted by Jian Ghomeshi, host of CBC Radio’s Q, and begins on Monday, February 25th at 11:30AM on CBC Radio One and runs until February 29th. Now, for those of you genuinely interested in this for the sheer excitement and/or anticipation (Yes, I know you’re out there) – If you miss an epi. you can subscribe to the podcasts.

Last year’s winner was Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O’Neill; valiantly fought for by Winnipeg rock musician, John K. Samson, lead singer of The Weakerthans.

That is all.