If I wanted someone elusive and impenetrable…

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… I’d be dating a mannequin.

I am such a contradiction of hankerings I don’t even know what to do with myself sometimes. I don’t know how this happened, but I think I know what the problem is.

When I was a kid my first bicycle was a BMX. I had short hair because I was in love with Corey Hart. And, considering marrying him was obviously out of the question, I may as well have looked like him. Pull up your socks. oh-boy.jpg I had girl friends, we had sleepovers. We painted our nails pink, we played with Cabbage Patch Kids, and I had an obscene amount of stuffed things. But then, I also had boys skates, boy friends, transformer toys, and a remote control Corvette. My favourite movies were: ET, Ghostbusters, Karate Kid, The Godfather, The NeverEnding Story, Spaceballs, The Princess Bride, Airplane!, Top Gun, Gremlins, and Goonies. Goonies never say die. As I got older (while still being younger) I grew my hair long, then got me some real boy friends. We played house … a lot. I wore cordurory skirts, and barrettes, and braids, but I was constantly climbing trees, and rocks, and digging in swamps for tadpoles to adopt. I let caterpillars crawl on me, and saved spiders from drains. I came home with gashes from branches, sap in my hair, and went dirtbiking along bubbling brooks. I played M.A.S.H (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House) and Tree, Bush, or Naked Lady. I loved double dutch; singing High, Low, Medium, Slow; Bluebells; and Little Bumper Car. I took it around the corrrr-ner. I wore Hypercolour T-Shirts, Jelly Shoes, and gimp bracelets up my arms. I came home filthy but was never asked why as long as I wasn’t crying and nobody’s parents called. I fell in love with Dirty Dancing, Splash, When Harry Met Sally, The Breakfast Club, and Can’t Buy Me Love. So I think, somewhere along the line I became thoroughly romanced by being a girl, having girl friends to giggle with and link arms with on a big swing set, and gush over Corey Haim – but at the same time, I was toughened by boys, I liked their toys, I liked hanging out with them. Sometimes wrestling while other times exploring each other (sorry mom and dad). I loved being a girly girl and I loved my tomboy constitution.

So now … I find men get confused by the fact that I’m most likely going to know how to hang a door, ballpark how big the engine of their car is, and want to watch Easy Rider; while at the same time wanting my bangs to be brushed off my forehead, silent conversations on the sofa, and glances from across a crowded room. I get excited over buying pink high heels, and body lotion that smells yummy; but I love my Skechers runners just as much. There is no doubt that there is a conflict as I’ve come to realize. You either want to arm wrestle me, or make out with me, sometimes both, but not necessarily in that order, and hopefully not at the same time. I’m not afraid of the dark, but I love to feel protected. I come across as hardy, but inside I’m very sensitive. I am down to earth and chill, but sometimes my heart really aches. I don’t mind Super Hero Indian Leg Wrestling, but I love spooning so much more.

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One Response to If I wanted someone elusive and impenetrable…

  1. Mike says:

    You are so funny…. you make my brain numb just trying to follow your train of thought….but somehow I get it….and I think you turned out all right in the end….I wouldn’t change a thing.

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